Bring On The SACs

I seriously can't believe I'm year 12 yet. Argh. Chemistry SAC was my first of many more to come.

Guess what I found?

I bet Sarah lover, XC and Maddi would have pressed it. You know why? Cuz you're retards!!!! LOL.

G'day. Gotta dig my nose into books.

Anglais

English is considered as the number one most used language in the world, which in fact is important both academically and for communicative purposes. Are these pictures enough to stress my point?

Isn't this familiar? From somewhere I call Malaysia. Some animosity people do show. Is the mafia after you?

Not that anyone I know needs it.

Girls, here's your complaint centre.

Scroll down for the final one.

Some great ideas politicians get these days. Talk about anti pornographic associations.

My friends, English. English. 

Frágil e Fraco..

I'm just so weak and stupid.

Who will want me? Is that why do I feel the reluctance to go deeper in my relationships?

I am a coward. I know the consequences. Do I live to gratify myself? I enjoy making people happy. Is it selfish to do so? I sometimes feel like an idiot.

Afraid of hurting them, hurting me along the way. With everyone. I wreck everything.

Her. Her. Her. It's always about her.

Love is the strongest thing in the world. That's why I dislike our survival instinct. Our necessity to survive, to gratify our desires. Being human is no easy task.

Thirst, hunger, lust, self gratification.

Jesus wept. Even he felt the burden. I need his determination. I want to be with Him.

I feel the difficulty in saying the word 'I love you' to anyone outside. I know because my definition is enduring, absolute. It will stay no matter what. I am looking hard. Who will want me? This sentence must be looked upon deeper, it is more of a "Is there anyone for me?" I'm so different, so strange.

I can hardly blame rejection. It's not as if you meant we can't be friends.

Friends, another loose term. I wish it can mean more than that with everyone.

Humans. We are a difficult species, with much individuality to share. God's compassion to give us a choice. I know what it means.

Enough ranting. It's enough for anyone to bang their head to the wall.

My prayers, peace, support to people in need, especially the bush fire victims. The fourth finger. The weak and needy.

Did you know what video the United States of America posted with celebrities?

I pledge:




I hope Rove is wrong though although he his certainly funny. I have a small question? Why is it centred on Barack Obama instead of America? I know he needs the support, but it is placed in a really creepy way. Oh well, at least they are trying.

Teaching People To Hate Unconsciously

Why would people hate so much? Does pain, remorse, suffering bring that? If so, Lord give me strength. I don't want to walk that path.

People growing up has a myriad of input of advice and influences. Superficial or profound alike. I am pained to see that. How do we stayed as untainted from the dirt as possible? My friend said to put in more detergent. It is ironic in it's sense but it is my utmost displeasure to admit his much annoying metaphors.

We won't stay untainted like that forever. Parents will block you, they might stain you on the way, but it has come to me that your own input is needed.

I need to stay sane. I need Him. Always and forever.

It's A Masquerade With People

It seems so fun at first but you get tired when you don't get to see their faces after awhile. It was all a game, but it was fun while it lasted. Taking off some masks were almost unbearable. Sometimes it felt as if you came to the party without a mask. Didn't that make you feel so vulnerable? Maybe it's because I want to wear a mask as well.

It's without wax with Him. Without wax with my loved ones.

Holidays. Holidays. Bother. Dinner. Dinner and more dinners. It's so fun but I get the bad lurch in my stomach the next day knowing that I haven't finished my long itinerary of things to do.

The big one comes this year. I feel the pressure now. I really want to serve people with illness and pain. I really want to help them. I just hope and pray with blood, sweat and tears that I will make it. How? I only can ask Him. No one else can tell me.

Wait. Let's get a breather, is it for me in the first place? Is it what He wants? No idea YET, but I hope I'll find out soon.

I better get started on the UMAT.

I'M TURNING INTO A NERD!!! THAT LADY IS SO RIGHT!!! I'M DOOMED!!!

Taking Something You Can't Take Back, Words

I shouldn't have said the things I didn't mean. I know even though I'm tired, I shouldn't have said that. They are the people I love most.

I feel really tired.

Find rest, O my soul, In God alone,
my hope comes from Him,
He alone is my rock and salvation,
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Look Into My Life With Time As Sand

Driving today has been alright. I didn't do anything stupid at least. I know, I'm a self proclaimed klutz. Have you ever tried to remember something important but you find the memory slipping away from your grasp?

Remembering something from the Wife of Martin Guerre, Betrande tries to remember her the face of her long absent husband but fails despairingly.

I know, I shouldn't make comparisons with homework huh? Don't you find it sad that you can't remember something really important.

It's me. I'm guilty of all the above.

I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia in the holidays. Since being read to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe since being a toddler, this series never grows old in my heart. Reading it everytime gives me new light on the stories and chracters. Clive Staple Lewis or you guys might know him as C. S. Lewis is an excellent writer who writes timeless stories, both stirring hearts both of young and old.

Quoting from it a good line from Lucy, (I like Lucy you know, her innocence and obedience. No, I'm am not some sick paedophile.)

" "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That's because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
" I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." "

It's Aslan!!!

and people tell me I'm crazy. Go read the series and you'll know what I mean. It's a secret.

Cold Glass

The clouds have cleared and I'm free finally. The moving, chores and holiday assignments are piling up but OVER. Well almost.

I didn't know things had changed so much.
Oh well, people change. You get your ups and downs. It's all fast. No time for adapting. It's unfair of me to expect things to stay the same forever.

Sounds like when I was a kid, expecting things to stay pristine forever. My new toys to stay perfect forever.

I suppose this is time to spend time with family.

Sibelius My Godfather

It's been a while.
Stephanie's busy and in Penang right now.

I made the mistake of thinking that everything would be the same.

Maybe I've become an emo. HAHA. I suppose so. I'm a non conformist. I rebel by being different. No one knows what I mean. I'm crazy.

Anyway, it was fun looking at aunties dressing up weirdly.

I got dragged into this.

A crazy person..

Can't believe you left to NS already..

Friend.. Starting school so early? Why dressed up so 80s?

We had our fun. Hope I can meet up with old friends as well. But everyone's busy. ;P

My Path In The Long Hard Road.

It has been one of the busiest Christmases ever. It's been a moving, fast paced one that is equally undesirable yet something to be tasted. Knowing myself, I would want to slow down but that is unlikely.

I went to Singapore. The stoopid small country that you stoopid Singaporeans go to. Joking okay. Anyway, I met up with Ben and Nick and it has been fun going around Orchard Road eating and shopping.

Before that, we took a break which wasn't really a break for my dad since he had to drive to Penang. The place wasn't bad but me and mum got a bad case of stomach flu.

It's time for me to reflect on my walk with God since my baptism not too long back.

No fancy words, just keeping it simple and clean.

I had to think about this with much deliberation and contemplation.

Why did I believe in Him? Is it because I want to go to heaven? Is it because I want God to give me good grades and 'protect' me? Is it because I have been hurt by people and use him as an excuse to 'cast my cares upon him'? Is it because God is my Genie who grants me kazillion wishes?

I'm not saying that it is wrong to pray for these things, but I don't want to believe in God for the perks and the 'staff' benefits. I don't want Him to be my insurance. I don't want him to be someone who I only go to when I need something.

No. I believe in Him because he loved me and did something that should not have happened for me. He showed me that love wins everything. I want Him to be my Father, friend and my guide forever and ever.

I absolutely respect all religion, demographics, denominations in society that there is. However, I don't do this for the religion. People get it so wrong to focus on it as a religion. Yeah no doubt Christianity is a religion but I think it is more significant to me as a relationship.

I hear people saying that they find it a heresy and sacrilegious that people can form a relationship with God or 'marry' themselves to the church or God. In my personal opinion, there is no wrong in doing so.

What is marriage? I know I'm still young and far from the topic, but with what parents, friends and what God has taught me, marriage is about making the person you love happy for the rest of your life. Giving them all you can, giving them your trust and faith, supporting them, a want to spend the rest of your life with them.

Let me get this straight, what you get when you sign up for Christianity is a small path of trials and tribulations. I'm not trying to deter anyone from believing but I think it's important to know what you are signing yourself up for. You become someone who is to be a peacemaker, a person to deny oneself, love others no matter how ugly, hateful they are. You are to give your life to God completely. It is a small and hard to take in life, but with God, I can do it.

Get my analogy?

I want to love Him, give Him all I can, my trust and faith, my support and my whole life to Him with no doubt because I feel His love, his presence in my life.

I know. People are going to think I'm crazy, but that's what I want.

Ten Ai Lean

1. The last person to tag you is?
Tan I Lyn

2. What's the relationship between you and him/her?
Slave driver who is absolutely merciless.  

3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
1) Smart
2) Genius
3) Nerd
4) Awesome ballet dancer
5) Smart

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.
Show her angry face which is mondo funny. HAHAHAHA.

5. The most memorable words that he/she said to you.
She said that I'm lame. How memorable. Does this make you feel guilty now. Any regrets?

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
My fans will get jealous.  

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I'll be really scared. She can be really scary at times huh. Haha kidding. 

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?


9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is....
Because I was LAME. 

10. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?...
Make sure she smiles.

11. The overall impression to he/her is..
Happy and a good listener

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Lame and random.

13. The character for you for yourself is?
Cool and cooler. Awesome and awesom-er

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Being a geek. 

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Understanding, patient and cooler

Free

Do you get the feeling that I would ask you a weird like cuckoo question that would get you would just say:

That is so random...

Like this one from me.

When you are dreaming what are your dreams about?

I know. It's a weird question to pop up in the middle of class which would grant the teacher to clear their throat and annoy the socks off them.

You know what I dream of?

I dream of being a pimp.

Big pause eh?

Okay. I have to stop that. Haha.

I dream of having wings to fly.

Loch Mae Haert

It's been a hiatus since I last blogged.

Long gone were the days where I could just bum around and do stuff I wanted to do.

What's important to you? Is you're pride important to you? You having the last word? It is still not too late. The late is when you STOP. How senseless we use the word love isn't it? Or the word hate? Or the four letter words we hear everyday. It disgusts me. People taking things for granted and say things we don't mean. That's just lying.

That's the part which hurts when you listen. But... if you stand strong, what would you achieve? Trust, faith, hope, senseless joy and love. What is more important to you? I may not be inside you anymore but when the love is bigger than anything, it always prevails. Stand strong.

Is there anyone who could stand strong with me? I am still looking hard.

Tell Me On A Sunday Please

I really have been feeling the roller coaster of emotions this year. I'm really not surprised that people would just back away from me and think I'm some kind of emotional or psychotic freak. I owe people many apologies.

Is it because I came to a new place and I just can't start over?

Is it because I just had to grow up so much?

The thing is, I realise how much more complex I seem to be when I came here. I so stupid sometimes. Does that mean I can't be who I really want to be? No, I'm not blaming anyone. People have different priorities. People define a 'friend' differently. People define 'love' differently as well.

Brandon may have better luck than I have. That's why I wanted him to have 3 years to work on it since I find myself failing and failing again.

No. I will not give myself any pity

'We fall down to pick ourselves up again.'

I love that line. It's from Batman. I like Batman.

Question of the day: How much do you know about your friends?

I just have to stand strong.

The Unending Hope

I need You. I am so lost somehow. I feel the world is closing upon me. I know it may seem so small and unimportant but just lead me and I will go.

I have Your hope. 

It has been a week where I am evaluating on my relationships, faith and basically stuff. I have been trying to differentiate the difference of what's real to me. What really matters to me.



Compassion. That's what we need in this world which is collapsing in to pieces. The world has hope. Life is good. 

Loose Socks

It haw been a good trip back home to Malaysia. The flight wasn't so good though. 

I know I am a lazy person and I didn't blog about it until much later. 

Well I went to Vinser's "surprise party which in the end wasn't much of a surprise because he was a spoilt sport. 

It was great fun and I enjoyed catching up with family and friends. 

I have read a book which made me think. Everyone hears this all the time though but we often just put it behind our minds knowing yet not knowing that we take every new day for granted. 

"You learn how to live when you learn how to die." 

It asks us a rhetorical question of: would you live life only to the fullest when you know you are dying?

May God grant us the strength to move on everyday. Really does the small things matter anymore? Your pride, how you look, money or even studies, how many people liking you (popularity) or whatever. I feel that our belief/ faith, family, friends and loved ones matter the most now. That's my number one priority. 

I Can See My Transparent Strings

-edit-

My brothers mean the world to me. No matter what happens, we're brothers. We're all in it together, through everything that happens. 

We stand strong together.

Look Away In The Hindered People's Land

The exams are near to this date I'm blogging. I'm am getting the heeby-jeebies. Haha.  

I am just blogging just for the fun of it. Went out for Daniel's birthday. 

We went to Pancake parlour. 

I know, I know, it's the same story with Krispy Kreme and everyone says I'm ungrateful. Lots of people rant how good it is or they rant that it isn't such a big deal. 

My statement after eating Krispy Kreme is: Okay. Haha. I know I am such a sit on the fence kind of guy. Don't blame me. No sweet tooth. 

I feeling oh-so-lazy. Gotta kick my arse to work. 

Let Us Be The Peacemakers

I know. I should be shot for not updating my blog. I have lost track of time in Melbourne. The weather is getting cold. So is my will to wake up in the mornings when my butt refuses to lift off. Haha. Yes. I'm still lame as ever. 

I really miss home but I know I have to make do of what I have here. 

Went out with Ben and gang to La Pochetta and then we went to the pancake parlour next door in Doncaster. 

The crazy bunch. Happy Birthday Ben.

Ben is always smiling. Daniel is always perving. Haha. 

Yup. We said they are Ben and Ben in action. 

The last pictures are for the final doodoo. Stacey. Don't act cute puhleese.

I will have to make time for the next post. 

The last word of the blog: Steps!!!

Amici Siempre

1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
God, family and my friends

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
No.

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
Zi Qian. Someone who is on the same wave-length as me. We share our frustrations. 

Grace. She can tell me stories till I sleep. Nah. Joking yeah... 

Stephanie. Someone who will listen to my lame jokes and will roll my eyes with me when the person above makes a bimbo statement. 

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
A place with all my friends and my loved ones. 

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Everyone to be happy...

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Uhuh

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Friends and family...

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Get me a new ride...

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Haha...

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Cheerful, funny and chilli padi

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
-Accept me and love me as I am.

-Funny person.

-Responsible.

-Loving and shows lots of compassion

-Likes to watch cartoons like me

-Likes going out like me. 

-Likes holding my hand.  

12. Which type of person do you hate the most? Ignorant people who don't try to learn.  

13. Highlight of the week? My mom's here in Melbourne. I sound like a mother's kid. Xp

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

I have no idea. I guess if it's helpful then please tell me. 

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My loved ones. The art of living a good life and having no regrets. 

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Not really...

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Chili padi!!! She's like the most active person I know. 

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
??? Erm. I suppose being more efficient and not so slow...? 

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
A mad person coming up to me and talking gibberish. Actually, that wasn't shocking. It was actually kinda sad and pitiful. 

20. What are you thinking now?
I miss home. I sound like a brat though. 

I haven't been keeping in touch with people in Kl. I feel like an idiot. 

The people here are friendly but after all I'm still a newbie and I suppose it's all still new and fresh. 

I know my best friend is in the distance but I'm gonna try. 

My other best friend is also having difficulty in life but I'm gonna try as well. 

No photos. Too lazy. Xp