Teaching People To Hate Unconsciously

Why would people hate so much? Does pain, remorse, suffering bring that? If so, Lord give me strength. I don't want to walk that path.

People growing up has a myriad of input of advice and influences. Superficial or profound alike. I am pained to see that. How do we stayed as untainted from the dirt as possible? My friend said to put in more detergent. It is ironic in it's sense but it is my utmost displeasure to admit his much annoying metaphors.

We won't stay untainted like that forever. Parents will block you, they might stain you on the way, but it has come to me that your own input is needed.

I need to stay sane. I need Him. Always and forever.

It's A Masquerade With People

It seems so fun at first but you get tired when you don't get to see their faces after awhile. It was all a game, but it was fun while it lasted. Taking off some masks were almost unbearable. Sometimes it felt as if you came to the party without a mask. Didn't that make you feel so vulnerable? Maybe it's because I want to wear a mask as well.

It's without wax with Him. Without wax with my loved ones.

Holidays. Holidays. Bother. Dinner. Dinner and more dinners. It's so fun but I get the bad lurch in my stomach the next day knowing that I haven't finished my long itinerary of things to do.

The big one comes this year. I feel the pressure now. I really want to serve people with illness and pain. I really want to help them. I just hope and pray with blood, sweat and tears that I will make it. How? I only can ask Him. No one else can tell me.

Wait. Let's get a breather, is it for me in the first place? Is it what He wants? No idea YET, but I hope I'll find out soon.

I better get started on the UMAT.

I'M TURNING INTO A NERD!!! THAT LADY IS SO RIGHT!!! I'M DOOMED!!!

Taking Something You Can't Take Back, Words

I shouldn't have said the things I didn't mean. I know even though I'm tired, I shouldn't have said that. They are the people I love most.

I feel really tired.

Find rest, O my soul, In God alone,
my hope comes from Him,
He alone is my rock and salvation,
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Look Into My Life With Time As Sand

Driving today has been alright. I didn't do anything stupid at least. I know, I'm a self proclaimed klutz. Have you ever tried to remember something important but you find the memory slipping away from your grasp?

Remembering something from the Wife of Martin Guerre, Betrande tries to remember her the face of her long absent husband but fails despairingly.

I know, I shouldn't make comparisons with homework huh? Don't you find it sad that you can't remember something really important.

It's me. I'm guilty of all the above.

I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia in the holidays. Since being read to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe since being a toddler, this series never grows old in my heart. Reading it everytime gives me new light on the stories and chracters. Clive Staple Lewis or you guys might know him as C. S. Lewis is an excellent writer who writes timeless stories, both stirring hearts both of young and old.

Quoting from it a good line from Lucy, (I like Lucy you know, her innocence and obedience. No, I'm am not some sick paedophile.)

" "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That's because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
" I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." "

It's Aslan!!!

and people tell me I'm crazy. Go read the series and you'll know what I mean. It's a secret.

Cold Glass

The clouds have cleared and I'm free finally. The moving, chores and holiday assignments are piling up but OVER. Well almost.

I didn't know things had changed so much.
Oh well, people change. You get your ups and downs. It's all fast. No time for adapting. It's unfair of me to expect things to stay the same forever.

Sounds like when I was a kid, expecting things to stay pristine forever. My new toys to stay perfect forever.

I suppose this is time to spend time with family.

Sibelius My Godfather

It's been a while.
Stephanie's busy and in Penang right now.

I made the mistake of thinking that everything would be the same.

Maybe I've become an emo. HAHA. I suppose so. I'm a non conformist. I rebel by being different. No one knows what I mean. I'm crazy.

Anyway, it was fun looking at aunties dressing up weirdly.

I got dragged into this.

A crazy person..

Can't believe you left to NS already..

Friend.. Starting school so early? Why dressed up so 80s?

We had our fun. Hope I can meet up with old friends as well. But everyone's busy. ;P