My Path In The Long Hard Road.

It has been one of the busiest Christmases ever. It's been a moving, fast paced one that is equally undesirable yet something to be tasted. Knowing myself, I would want to slow down but that is unlikely.

I went to Singapore. The stoopid small country that you stoopid Singaporeans go to. Joking okay. Anyway, I met up with Ben and Nick and it has been fun going around Orchard Road eating and shopping.

Before that, we took a break which wasn't really a break for my dad since he had to drive to Penang. The place wasn't bad but me and mum got a bad case of stomach flu.

It's time for me to reflect on my walk with God since my baptism not too long back.

No fancy words, just keeping it simple and clean.

I had to think about this with much deliberation and contemplation.

Why did I believe in Him? Is it because I want to go to heaven? Is it because I want God to give me good grades and 'protect' me? Is it because I have been hurt by people and use him as an excuse to 'cast my cares upon him'? Is it because God is my Genie who grants me kazillion wishes?

I'm not saying that it is wrong to pray for these things, but I don't want to believe in God for the perks and the 'staff' benefits. I don't want Him to be my insurance. I don't want him to be someone who I only go to when I need something.

No. I believe in Him because he loved me and did something that should not have happened for me. He showed me that love wins everything. I want Him to be my Father, friend and my guide forever and ever.

I absolutely respect all religion, demographics, denominations in society that there is. However, I don't do this for the religion. People get it so wrong to focus on it as a religion. Yeah no doubt Christianity is a religion but I think it is more significant to me as a relationship.

I hear people saying that they find it a heresy and sacrilegious that people can form a relationship with God or 'marry' themselves to the church or God. In my personal opinion, there is no wrong in doing so.

What is marriage? I know I'm still young and far from the topic, but with what parents, friends and what God has taught me, marriage is about making the person you love happy for the rest of your life. Giving them all you can, giving them your trust and faith, supporting them, a want to spend the rest of your life with them.

Let me get this straight, what you get when you sign up for Christianity is a small path of trials and tribulations. I'm not trying to deter anyone from believing but I think it's important to know what you are signing yourself up for. You become someone who is to be a peacemaker, a person to deny oneself, love others no matter how ugly, hateful they are. You are to give your life to God completely. It is a small and hard to take in life, but with God, I can do it.

Get my analogy?

I want to love Him, give Him all I can, my trust and faith, my support and my whole life to Him with no doubt because I feel His love, his presence in my life.

I know. People are going to think I'm crazy, but that's what I want.