wOo...

Me wake up... me feel like caveman... me grumpy... me hit dumb bruduh and smash bruduh's skull.
That's what you get when you try to wake me up in the early wee hours of Saturday... for my brother's case la.

Sunday...
I went rock climbing to celebrate I-Lyn's birthday... met two of her quirky friends... made me want to go to MC more. Really enjoyed it. Something different.

Monday...
Almost everyone dreads to go for assembly. Especially when you have to listen to our headmistress drone on and on... (She's a nice person but boring). It was the opening ceremony for a soccorthon fund raising event. The Dato' from the Damansara district made the event a tad bit more interesting when he gave his speech. Not being mean, but when he spoke, it was as if he had a duck squeaker stuck in his throat... and obviously everyone was stiffling their laughter... I got told off for laughing by a prefect who was also laughing himself. tut tut.

Tuesday...
This is the day that i remember that I sit with a mental patient from Tanjung Rambutan that needs me to feed him his pills every 2 hours. I dunno whether i pity him or myself. Aiyo... I really kena from the girls sitting in front of me and beside me when they (Chong Sheng, Han Hwa and the rest of the buggers) play and I don't do anything. Just today, Thomas, Kai Ming, Han Hwa, Wai Yew and Chong Sheng was folding newspaper pellets and firing at each other across the class. Gawsh...

By the way... today is I-Lyn's birthday.
I'm glad to know you, a person who asks me to chill always but sendiri also dunno how to chill. =)
Sorry for being a slave driver and a irritable bugger when planning the games last year...

Attached or addicted? Me as an oddball

Yesterday I just realised something...
I am not really attached to something.
Jason is attached to his football,
Han Hwa is attached to his anime movies,
Eunice is attachd to her chinese sitcom show,
I-Lyn likes dancing,
Yuen Ling is addicted to scouts,
Ying Ling to her fashionable outfits and accessories in Topshop and her shoes. (and of course my checkbook, dah-ling)
Han Liang probably would be addicted to girls or something more???
Rowena, Jolyn and the rest of te world would enjoy best insulting me.
But me... for one thing is that I am not hooked on to games, sports or anything... just an odd ball...
But there is one thing in my life that I am hooked on to ... my heavanly father above.
It is just sometimes when you just keep sinning and you don't really realise it because everyone is blind and numb from their doings. I may not be exactly doing everything on what He says now... but I am proud to say that I am glad and grateful that I have Him and will be willing to live a live full of intergrity for him. My convenant with Him, His promise to me. He is my rock and my reedeemer. My first love.

Great week actually... all is well

The past few days were great... as in it isn't so bad as the previous one. I probably pissed off many ppl in the week but all is well in the end I hope. I probably pissed Han Hwa, so serious, sorry la. All is well with my problems and life will be back to normal. Just have to suck up your pride and talk to someone about your problems. I'm just as cool (as in I'm calm but you can apply the other meaning) as I can be. Jokes throughout the week. Me being called as MB as usual... idiot Kai Ming. The diagnostic test was complete rubbish. Not being big headed... but it was kinda wasting time.

Sunday was ok... but Su' Ryn quit the worship team and aiyo... I have to redo the worship team thing again. I-Lyn you sing very well la... can worship lead. Aiyo... can't belive I volunteered to sing. I told you all I am mental. =)

Me now smiling real wide... Ppl will probably think I'm mental. but seriously I'm real glad of this is over.

Have to study la... Brian studying 3 hours... kudos to him.

Guys... our reasons

WELL here's a few reasons why we guys like girls...
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... ! ! just the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Restrictions and me as an idiot.

Lately, exams, the workload and the pressure just keeps coming. My parents who usually don't pressure me to study makes me stay home and miss Oasis (Youth group meeting once a month). I am also kinda buggered by my BM tuition teacher who has not been encouraging and that doesn't help. Well... have to just buck up. I just need to drill the maxim into my haed to STUDY!!!

And did I mention that these few days I feel like I am an idiot? Well... Friday was real sucky... Get me my klonopine (anti depressants) and drown out all my feelings. I just need to wait... wait till I'm older. The house we went for parish was gianourmous. It was in Kenny Hills and I could bet that there was a inbuilt GSC and all. Maybe because I was all moody and stuff I didn't enjoy it as much.

I need to be a friend
A good friend
A great and understanding friend
Someone funny and supportive
Yet... I always managed to criticize some (Han Hwa I'm so sorry =))
But most of all I still hope I can just be there even though I didn't go deeper for just this person...
My heart that was once cold turned warm and alive
Please don't think ill of me
And remember me even though I am not as sure as you are
I wish now that I could just go back to our lives and speak so closely to each other

I don't understand, I'm just not sure this once. My deepest apologies.

Pls someone tell me if you all know for sure. I'm not sure whether I'm hurting somebody...
That girl I see just smiles and I can just return it warmly. I not sure. All I can do is smile weakly and hide my expressions and feelings behind a mask. Do I dare...? I'm just not sure. Is she for me? I just for once am not sure. Someone please tell me. I'm shouting out behind what seems like a normal me but I'm just waiting for an answer, that she may just whisper it to me. I know it's best if we would just come together and talk, but... I'm just here... She treats me the same as if nothing had happened. But I hope one day I will be sitting across her face to face just to talk about this. I'm not sure whether I've hurt her but I am deeply and truely sorry if I did.

Well... to those out there who thinks my postings are depressing, I'm really sorry. And I-Lyn who will probably think I'm perasan I'm also sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone and I am truly sorry. And for the guy that you love... I hope he will come to his senses or maybe he's just not too sure about what's going on. Very sad seeing you sad like that, it's just nicer seeing you smile. It's also getting reeellll spooky with those bad mojo vibes. Just sorry we couldn't talk about this. Don't get angry or pissed at me k? I'm also sorry if you are... =P

Anyway... my grandparents' house had a major blackout yesterday. I just left my age and I joined my cousins (Marcus, Aaron, Derek and Ester) to played laterns. Wow... a brief moment there where I thought I just became 5. I seriously missed being young, but I suppose everyone will have to grow up and face the cold cruel world one day. Anyway... it wasn't so dark when we all lit the candles (probably lit about 5 boxes). It was actually fun playing with them just have to leave the world once in a while to take a breathe. We all were sweating so much that we ate ice-cream later. Great Scott. That was probably the third time that day I ate ice-cream.

I'm so drained out and tired... swimmimng and watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean' late.
As predicted... Keira Knightly was good and promising. Just telling you all that definately there wil be a sequel to this great show.

I've cleaned out my room and found a few memorable stuff.
I found my old toy that I needed to sleep with when I was 4.
I found my Standard 1 photo that showed me that I was adorable and bound to be good-looking.
I found my blob of decorative stuff that I made when I went to Pangkor Laut.
I found my picture of my family together in N. Zealand.
I found a trinket that I kinda stole when I was in Bali. (seriously, you all got to trust me. It was kinda free)
I found a CD of pictures from the SSS camp last year.
Lastly, I found my memories of friends, family and myself. I made me remember all these stuff you do... it pasts so fast. And poof, the next moment you know it... you're Form 3 waiting to take PMR and raging with hormones. It seriously does you good when you find these stuff you just take a while breathe and think back of all the moments you've had. It just makes you laugh, cry and just wonder of the past wondering about the mysteries before still not yet revealed.