It seems so fun at first but you get tired when you don't get to see their faces after awhile. It was all a game, but it was fun while it lasted. Taking off some masks were almost unbearable. Sometimes it felt as if you came to the party without a mask. Didn't that make you feel so vulnerable? Maybe it's because I want to wear a mask as well.
It's without wax with Him. Without wax with my loved ones.
Holidays. Holidays. Bother. Dinner. Dinner and more dinners. It's so fun but I get the bad lurch in my stomach the next day knowing that I haven't finished my long itinerary of things to do.
The big one comes this year. I feel the pressure now. I really want to serve people with illness and pain. I really want to help them. I just hope and pray with blood, sweat and tears that I will make it. How? I only can ask Him. No one else can tell me.
Wait. Let's get a breather, is it for me in the first place? Is it what He wants? No idea YET, but I hope I'll find out soon.
I better get started on the UMAT.
I'M TURNING INTO A NERD!!! THAT LADY IS SO RIGHT!!! I'M DOOMED!!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Taking Something You Can't Take Back, Words
I shouldn't have said the things I didn't mean. I know even though I'm tired, I shouldn't have said that. They are the people I love most.
I feel really tired.
Find rest, O my soul, In God alone,
my hope comes from Him,
He alone is my rock and salvation,
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
I feel really tired.
Find rest, O my soul, In God alone,
my hope comes from Him,
He alone is my rock and salvation,
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Look Into My Life With Time As Sand
Driving today has been alright. I didn't do anything stupid at least. I know, I'm a self proclaimed klutz. Have you ever tried to remember something important but you find the memory slipping away from your grasp?
Remembering something from the Wife of Martin Guerre, Betrande tries to remember her the face of her long absent husband but fails despairingly.
I know, I shouldn't make comparisons with homework huh? Don't you find it sad that you can't remember something really important.
It's me. I'm guilty of all the above.
I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia in the holidays. Since being read to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe since being a toddler, this series never grows old in my heart. Reading it everytime gives me new light on the stories and chracters. Clive Staple Lewis or you guys might know him as C. S. Lewis is an excellent writer who writes timeless stories, both stirring hearts both of young and old.
Quoting from it a good line from Lucy, (I like Lucy you know, her innocence and obedience. No, I'm am not some sick paedophile.)
" "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That's because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
" I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." "
It's Aslan!!!
Remembering something from the Wife of Martin Guerre, Betrande tries to remember her the face of her long absent husband but fails despairingly.
I know, I shouldn't make comparisons with homework huh? Don't you find it sad that you can't remember something really important.
It's me. I'm guilty of all the above.
I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia in the holidays. Since being read to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe since being a toddler, this series never grows old in my heart. Reading it everytime gives me new light on the stories and chracters. Clive Staple Lewis or you guys might know him as C. S. Lewis is an excellent writer who writes timeless stories, both stirring hearts both of young and old.
Quoting from it a good line from Lucy, (I like Lucy you know, her innocence and obedience. No, I'm am not some sick paedophile.)
" "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That's because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
" I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." "
It's Aslan!!!
and people tell me I'm crazy. Go read the series and you'll know what I mean. It's a secret.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Cold Glass
The clouds have cleared and I'm free finally. The moving, chores and holiday assignments are piling up but OVER. Well almost.
I didn't know things had changed so much.
Oh well, people change. You get your ups and downs. It's all fast. No time for adapting. It's unfair of me to expect things to stay the same forever.
Sounds like when I was a kid, expecting things to stay pristine forever. My new toys to stay perfect forever.
I suppose this is time to spend time with family.
I didn't know things had changed so much.
Oh well, people change. You get your ups and downs. It's all fast. No time for adapting. It's unfair of me to expect things to stay the same forever.
Sounds like when I was a kid, expecting things to stay pristine forever. My new toys to stay perfect forever.
I suppose this is time to spend time with family.
Sibelius My Godfather
It's been a while.
Stephanie's busy and in Penang right now.
I made the mistake of thinking that everything would be the same.
Maybe I've become an emo. HAHA. I suppose so. I'm a non conformist. I rebel by being different. No one knows what I mean. I'm crazy.
Anyway, it was fun looking at aunties dressing up weirdly.
I got dragged into this.
Stephanie's busy and in Penang right now.
I made the mistake of thinking that everything would be the same.
Maybe I've become an emo. HAHA. I suppose so. I'm a non conformist. I rebel by being different. No one knows what I mean. I'm crazy.
Anyway, it was fun looking at aunties dressing up weirdly.
I got dragged into this.
A crazy person..
Can't believe you left to NS already..
Friend.. Starting school so early? Why dressed up so 80s?We had our fun. Hope I can meet up with old friends as well. But everyone's busy. ;P
Sunday, December 28, 2008
My Path In The Long Hard Road.
It has been one of the busiest Christmases ever. It's been a moving, fast paced one that is equally undesirable yet something to be tasted. Knowing myself, I would want to slow down but that is unlikely.
I went to Singapore. The stoopid small country that you stoopid Singaporeans go to. Joking okay. Anyway, I met up with Ben and Nick and it has been fun going around Orchard Road eating and shopping.
Before that, we took a break which wasn't really a break for my dad since he had to drive to Penang. The place wasn't bad but me and mum got a bad case of stomach flu.
It's time for me to reflect on my walk with God since my baptism not too long back.
No fancy words, just keeping it simple and clean.
I had to think about this with much deliberation and contemplation.
Why did I believe in Him? Is it because I want to go to heaven? Is it because I want God to give me good grades and 'protect' me? Is it because I have been hurt by people and use him as an excuse to 'cast my cares upon him'? Is it because God is my Genie who grants me kazillion wishes?
I'm not saying that it is wrong to pray for these things, but I don't want to believe in God for the perks and the 'staff' benefits. I don't want Him to be my insurance. I don't want him to be someone who I only go to when I need something.
No. I believe in Him because he loved me and did something that should not have happened for me. He showed me that love wins everything. I want Him to be my Father, friend and my guide forever and ever.
I absolutely respect all religion, demographics, denominations in society that there is. However, I don't do this for the religion. People get it so wrong to focus on it as a religion. Yeah no doubt Christianity is a religion but I think it is more significant to me as a relationship.
I hear people saying that they find it a heresy and sacrilegious that people can form a relationship with God or 'marry' themselves to the church or God. In my personal opinion, there is no wrong in doing so.
What is marriage? I know I'm still young and far from the topic, but with what parents, friends and what God has taught me, marriage is about making the person you love happy for the rest of your life. Giving them all you can, giving them your trust and faith, supporting them, a want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Let me get this straight, what you get when you sign up for Christianity is a small path of trials and tribulations. I'm not trying to deter anyone from believing but I think it's important to know what you are signing yourself up for. You become someone who is to be a peacemaker, a person to deny oneself, love others no matter how ugly, hateful they are. You are to give your life to God completely. It is a small and hard to take in life, but with God, I can do it.
Get my analogy?
I want to love Him, give Him all I can, my trust and faith, my support and my whole life to Him with no doubt because I feel His love, his presence in my life.
I know. People are going to think I'm crazy, but that's what I want.
I went to Singapore. The stoopid small country that you stoopid Singaporeans go to. Joking okay. Anyway, I met up with Ben and Nick and it has been fun going around Orchard Road eating and shopping.
Before that, we took a break which wasn't really a break for my dad since he had to drive to Penang. The place wasn't bad but me and mum got a bad case of stomach flu.
It's time for me to reflect on my walk with God since my baptism not too long back.
No fancy words, just keeping it simple and clean.
I had to think about this with much deliberation and contemplation.
Why did I believe in Him? Is it because I want to go to heaven? Is it because I want God to give me good grades and 'protect' me? Is it because I have been hurt by people and use him as an excuse to 'cast my cares upon him'? Is it because God is my Genie who grants me kazillion wishes?
I'm not saying that it is wrong to pray for these things, but I don't want to believe in God for the perks and the 'staff' benefits. I don't want Him to be my insurance. I don't want him to be someone who I only go to when I need something.
No. I believe in Him because he loved me and did something that should not have happened for me. He showed me that love wins everything. I want Him to be my Father, friend and my guide forever and ever.
I absolutely respect all religion, demographics, denominations in society that there is. However, I don't do this for the religion. People get it so wrong to focus on it as a religion. Yeah no doubt Christianity is a religion but I think it is more significant to me as a relationship.
I hear people saying that they find it a heresy and sacrilegious that people can form a relationship with God or 'marry' themselves to the church or God. In my personal opinion, there is no wrong in doing so.
What is marriage? I know I'm still young and far from the topic, but with what parents, friends and what God has taught me, marriage is about making the person you love happy for the rest of your life. Giving them all you can, giving them your trust and faith, supporting them, a want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Let me get this straight, what you get when you sign up for Christianity is a small path of trials and tribulations. I'm not trying to deter anyone from believing but I think it's important to know what you are signing yourself up for. You become someone who is to be a peacemaker, a person to deny oneself, love others no matter how ugly, hateful they are. You are to give your life to God completely. It is a small and hard to take in life, but with God, I can do it.
Get my analogy?
I want to love Him, give Him all I can, my trust and faith, my support and my whole life to Him with no doubt because I feel His love, his presence in my life.
I know. People are going to think I'm crazy, but that's what I want.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Ten Ai Lean
1. The last person to tag you is?
Tan I Lyn
2. What's the relationship between you and him/her?
Slave driver who is absolutely merciless.
3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
1) Smart
2) Genius
3) Nerd
4) Awesome ballet dancer
5) Smart
4. The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.
Show her angry face which is mondo funny. HAHAHAHA.
5. The most memorable words that he/she said to you.
She said that I'm lame. How memorable. Does this make you feel guilty now. Any regrets?
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
My fans will get jealous.
7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I'll be really scared. She can be really scary at times huh. Haha kidding.
8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is....
Because I was LAME.
10. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?...
Make sure she smiles.
11. The overall impression to he/her is..
Happy and a good listener
12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Lame and random.
13. The character for you for yourself is?
Cool and cooler. Awesome and awesom-er
14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Being a geek.
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Understanding, patient and cooler
Tan I Lyn
2. What's the relationship between you and him/her?
Slave driver who is absolutely merciless.
3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
1) Smart
2) Genius
3) Nerd
4) Awesome ballet dancer
5) Smart
4. The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.
Show her angry face which is mondo funny. HAHAHAHA.
5. The most memorable words that he/she said to you.
She said that I'm lame. How memorable. Does this make you feel guilty now. Any regrets?
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
My fans will get jealous.
7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I'll be really scared. She can be really scary at times huh. Haha kidding.
8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is....
Because I was LAME.
10. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?...
Make sure she smiles.
11. The overall impression to he/her is..
Happy and a good listener
12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Lame and random.
13. The character for you for yourself is?
Cool and cooler. Awesome and awesom-er
14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Being a geek.
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Understanding, patient and cooler
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